We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
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He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
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How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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