Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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