wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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