He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
