you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
