John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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