PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
