sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i love accidental penises.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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