Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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