So drunk, too bad you don't want this
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
