i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
