You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
