the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
