I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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