i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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