We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
