32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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