I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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