How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
