don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
