(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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