I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
