One girl and one boy is just not enough.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
