you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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