Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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