Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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