All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
