it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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