like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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