You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
