our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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