i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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