apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
