Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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