I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
