so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
