So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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