I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
