So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
