this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Randomize