let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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