Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
