What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
