We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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