When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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