ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
