Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
