Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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