its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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