I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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