thus making me awesome and them whores
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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