just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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