Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize