he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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