He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize