If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
