I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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