Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
