they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
