Barsexuality is the new black.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
