Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
