4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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