Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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