Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
