Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
