I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
